What to say to a pregnant girl February 29, 2012

I’ve gotten a lot of interesting responses to my pregnancy this time around. And by responses, I’m talking about the way that I look. Here’s the deal, I’m not a super cute baby bump kind of gal. I’m not saying that to elicit “yes you are’s.” I’m saying that because it’s true. I’m about 5’3″ with a very short torso and long legs. I’m busty, so since my torso is short, my whole upper half is well….round. Also, it’s my second pregnancy and I’m just bigger than last time. It’s ok, I’ve resigned myself to empire waist sundresses and cute hair, shoes, and make-up (that is when I have the energy for that).

Here’s the interesting part….I’ve had 2 very different reactions this time around. Let’s talk about the WEIRDEST one first.

Reaction #1

So, I’m in this new women’s group at my church. The girls are all about my age and I’ve never met any of them before. I joined when I was about 24 or 25 weeks along…noticeably pretty big. I felt like the standard “I”m pregnant, look at me!” announcement wasn’t necessary based on my size, so I skipped it. (I don’t really like to make that announcement anyway, which is why some of you reading this right now are thinking “Wait, she’s pregnant? Did she say something on Facebook?” I didn’t). Anyway, no one said a thing. Those of you who are of the female persuasion know the drill when you see a pregnant girl: first figure out if she’s just overweight, when you’ve deduced that she is not, then start asking questions like “oh when are you due?” “how do you feel?” “boy or girl?” etc. etc. Well, no one said a word. I thought,“Well, I’m wearing a baggy sweater, maybe they just think I’m rocking the 80′s thing” (which I was because I was also wearing tights, they just weren’t neon). So I gave them the benefit of the doubt. The next week however, I busted out a pretty tight belly accentuating top, skinny jeans, and TOMS. Still….NOTHING. I got some compliments on my shoes….while standing…so they had to see the belly. But still nothing. The next week, I wore and dress and nothing. The next time we went out to lunch and consequently shared delivery stories the whole time….still, nothing.

It had been 4 weeks at this point, and I was beginning to feel awkward, like “Well, how do I tell them NOW?” Now, it’s been almost 2 months and still no one has said a word. So, it’s becoming the elephant in the room. I’ve thought through this and if I go into labor before the study is over, I’ll email my leader and tell her and they’ll all collectively say “ahhh, she was pregnant.” If someone asks me before I go into labor, I’ll say, while pointing at my HUGE belly “Seriously? Did I have to spell. it. out?” (I’ll say it more nicely than that, but that’s what I’ll be thinking). And if no one notices and I go into labor after the study and they see me on the street looking normally, I introduce them to my new baby.

Ok. Reaction #2. (and this is the WAY more common one).

“You’re due when? Oh my gosh, are you carrying twins?”

“You’re 38 weeks right? Oh, just 28. I thought you said 38.”

“You’re so big…and cute.”

“Whoaaaaa, Mama!” (ok, that was my 2 year old when she saw my belly and it was actually SUPER cute).

Whatever, I know I’m big but it’s so funny to me that people feel the need to tell me that. I mean, when we see fat people we don’t say “Whoa, you are a FATSO! You are huge.” Conversely to really skinny men, “Um, eat much?” Why is it ok to tell women who already feel GROSS that they are huge????

SO, I’ve compiled an appropriate list of things to say to pregnant women.

1. Wow, you look great.

2. Man, you are carrying that kid great!

3. You are so cute.

These may be lies….LIES. But say them anyway.

Oh and this is one I finally got today, from a friend in my workout group…and it’s my favorite.

4. You don’t even look pregnant from behind! (Brilliant, I love that one, it’s the best!)

So, the next time you see a pregnant girl just tell her she looks awesome…don’t say “glowing” because we all know that’s just code for “sweaty,” which she probably is.

Komen v. Planned Parenthood February 3, 2012

Now that the country has had a couple of days to untangle their panties following the Komen v. Planned Parenthood fiasco, let’s consider just a few ideas:

1. We live in a free country in which non-profits are allowed (Praise God) to donate their money how they see fit.

2. While Planned Parenthood does provide breast exams for low income women, they are not actively participating in breast cancer research, therefore by withdrawing support to this organization we will withdraw our support from breast cancer victims, their families, and future generations (possibly our very own daughters). This is an outrageous thing to do and makes us guilty of practicing politics over principle (the very thing we are angry at Komen for doing).

3. We must remember that Komen’s statement regarding their withdrawal of funding for Planned Parenthood, is because Planned Parenthood is under investigation by the US government. We can speculate that it is for other reasons, but we don’t know that. If it was for other reasons, well, once again, thank God our country is free and we are all entitled to our own beliefs. Thank God, seriously. (Side note: I’m sure Planned Parenthood would not give money to a pro-life non-profit agency and that’s ok, because this is America).

4. The nearly $700,000 in donations withdrawn from Planned Parenthood is a DROP in THE BUCKET when looking at their budget, and it was recouped virtually overnight by donors angry at Komen.

5.  We must remember that the battle, the enemy here is not Republicans. The enemy is cancer. Sometimes we get too wrapped up in the fight against each other that we forget who the fight is really against and that is CANCER.

On a personal note, I have volunteered with Komen rather extensively and run several races and I can tell you two things:

The women who devote their lives to Komen are passionate beyond belief about breast cancer research and prevention. They take what they do very seriously and they do it well. They are tireless in their work. They are good, kind, driven people and I love them.

In my time with Komen, I was one of the few conservatives. I’m sure some applaud the demise of their relationship with PP and others are probably upset by it.

All this to say, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water.

Below is a link which I saw last night on the Arkansas for the Cure Facebook page…..basically I might have been able to skip this blog post entirely and just re-post this,

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Arkansas

Oh wait, it seems Komen reinstated their funding of Planned Parenthood while I wrote this blog post, and this is what I have to say-political pressure apparently works in both directions and I will still support Komen.

PS. To my followers, I’m really sorry for all of the political posts lately….I just can’t help myself, it’s that time of the year…I’m writing a completely non-political blog post in my head right now!!! Stay tuned.