Just some Questions I Have May 8, 2012

Yesterday it was HOT in Texas. By hot, I don’t mean 114 like last summer, but low 90′s, which for the beginning of May, is hot. And for this pregnant chick, it’s really hot! So my husband and I were driving by the local university which might as well be populated with beauty queens and models and I bet you have to submit a head shot with your application and no one seems to be sweating or hot. In fact, all those little girls look beautiful and their hair is down,and they are wearing skinny jeans. So I wonder out loud, “HOW do they look so pretty all the time???”, which made me think of some other questions I have about life that no one can seem to answer for me. Here are some….

Beauty-related quandaries

1. How do people look cute and not sweaty in the summer? How do they do it? When the temperature goes above 95, I just don’t know. Sub-question: HOW do they wear their hair down? How???

2. How do people wear high heels into their 50′s without getting bunions? I got one at 28. Do people just suffer through? How do they do it, Stacy London?

3. How do people get their hair to hold all day? Glue? I use hairspray. It doesn’t seem sufficient.

4. How in the world do people keep their eye make-up on all day? Are the actually secretly reapplying in the bathroom?

5. Where are people buying their cute maternity clothes? I mean, it’s not at Motherhood, because I’m there about every week. (For instance, my cute little neighbor across the street is wearing a darling dress and it is not sold at Target, Motherhood, or Gap). Where did she get it? Dang. And she’s wearing heels. Subquestion: How does she do that?? Heels?

6. Why does it take us (women) so long to pee in public places? What are we doing in there? Why is there always a line? I’m so confused.

7. (And one question my husband always asks, so I’ll put it here) Why do men wear skinny jeans? He doesn’t understand it and it troubles him on a regular basis.

Living related quandaries

1. The suburbs? Why? WHY? Sub-question: Is commuting really worth it?

2. Wood paneled rooms?

3. A living room that no one goes in but you still have to clean plus a den that everyone goes in and you have to clean, why is this?

General/Misc. quandaries

1. Justin Bieber, Madonna, Brittney Spears. Someone please explain. (Well Biebs-I guess he’s got some talent, but the other 2, I’m not sure why they are famous). Sub-question: why is anyone famous anymore?

2.  Why did I ever EVER think getting a Beagle was a good idea? (Ok, he’s cute, sweet, snuggly, etc…just right now he’s annoying me by barking at life, but I know why I got him).

3.  Why do Mac owners put Mac stickers on their cars? Should I get a Sony sticker? Or it that pathetic? (Jk, I’m not doing that).

4.  Aren’t hipsters just basically emo kids revamped? Why did they need a new name? Is it because no one listens to Dashboard Confessional anymore?

5.  Why would a boy chose Wal-mart over Target any day? I need a better reason than “because it’s awesome.”

I have so many more questions than this….but these are the ones I wonder about the most maybe. The ones that don’t seem to have answers. But really the biggest one is HOW DO PEOPLE LOOK CUTE IN THE SUMMER?? An answer to this would be really helpful because summer in Texas is 6 months or something, so…if anyone could help me out, that would be awesome.

Here’s an Idea… May 2, 2012

***Disclaimer-If you are a friend of mine who is pregnant with your first child, don’t read this. Seriously, don’t read this, it’ll ruin the surprise.

So, right after I had my first baby, my ObGyn rolls up next to my face and starts telling me a bunch of stuff regarding pain management. “Get some Tucks pads,” she says. I remember nodding blankly and looking over to my husband to assure that he knew what the heck she was talking about or at least could remember what she said.

Thus began a crazy couple of weeks with lots of weird unknowns and several trips to the store for stuff I never thought about needing. After one trip to Target, my husband laughed out loud as he unloaded a slew of hemorrhoid ointments, pads, and stool softeners musing that the checker must have thought, “whoa, this guy has some ISSUES!!”

(Oh and FYI, lest you think I had a RAGING case of hemorrhoids, tucks pads and the like are just helpful in general for everyone’s healing and pain management after labor ).

After finally figuring out what Tucks were and where in the heck Target keeps them, and that Prune juice is a postpartum girl’s best friend, and that man nursing makes you HUNGRY, I thought “gosh, I wish someone had told me this 2 months ago!!”

So, I decided that when my friends became first time moms, I’d spare them embarrassing trips to the pharmacy aisle and beat them to the punch with a little first time mom’s care package.

Here are some of the things I put in my packages for new moms:

Tucks pads (or the Target brand, which is identical and half the price)

100 calorie snack packs for nursing munchies

Organic Smooth Move Tea (Let me just tell you, whether you’ve just had a baby or not, this stuff is a miracle. Thanks to my Grandma for hooking a sister up in my first trimester. I’m talking-miraculous.)

Always/extra long pads with wings (didn’t think you’d need these babies ever again after junior high-think again.)

Various things for the baby, like odor reducing bags for dirty dipes, shampoo, and anything from the registry.

I’ve also added Lanolin or nice smelling lotions…though those things usually make it to showers and registries.

I put all of these things in a handy dandy Tupperware with a lid, because a girl can never have enough storage bins or baskets!

So, the next time you’re invited to a shower or have a friend who’s about to pop, consider throwing together some post-baby necessities to make her life just a little less crazy those first few weeks.

What are some things you might add to my list? I’m always looking for suggestions!

Dutch letters for Everyone! (well really just for me and mine) April 19, 2012

A friend of mine was in Iowa for work this week…and complaining about it (sorry Erin). After chiding her harshly (well actually not too harshly) I decided to prove her wrong. Now, I don’t know about you, but the way to my heart is through my stomach. I would have a hard time hating a place that has great food. Conversely, I have a REALLY EASY time hating a place with gross food.  A really easy time. I am SERIOUS about food. In fact, when my honey and I are recounting vacation memories, they almost always center around eating; “remember those fried green tomatoes in Sea Side?” “Ohhh, what I would give for a gyro from Layla’s, oh and some Blvd. Bread” “I mean, Philly really ruined us for any knock off cheese steaks.” On and on we could go. We LOVE food.

SO….for my friend I suggested a few Iowa staples: Maid Rites, Breaded Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches, Cheese Curds, Caribou Coffee (this is a MN thing, but quite delish) and Dutch Letters. All of the above can easily be found in pretty much any major city in Iowa-except Dutch Letters. I tried really hard to hook a sister up, but in the end came up dry.

So what the heck are Dutch Letters? Dutch letters are these amazing almond paste filled flaky pastries sold in Dutch bakeries in Dutch towns in Iowa (and the occasional super market). They are shaped like S’s. I don’t pretend to know ANYTHING about Dutch culture, except they seem to have affinities for wooden shoes and windmills. But in these Dutch towns, almost everyone is of Dutch heritage and everything is pristine and their bakeries are simply SUBLIME.

The good news is this-I didn’t really come up dry because I stumbled upon a little recipe for Dutch letters that had rave reviews…almost all of which claimed it tasted just like the ones from Pella, IA (the most famous Dutch town). SO I set out to find me some almost paste and get crackin’.

This is the link to the recipe on All Recipes…I’ll show you how I did it in pictures below.

Dutch Letter Recipe

I halved the recipe because I can just tell you now, we don’t need a million pastries just hanging around our house (I gained just a few too many lbs at the last Ob visit-like 8 too many, so I’ll write the modified version and you can double it if you’d like-which I won’t encourage if it’s just 2 of you).

First I mixed 1 cup of flour, 1/8t of salt together. Then I cut in a stick of chilled butter (yes, a whole stick-can you hear my arteries clogging through your computer speakers? If it gets annoying, turn your volume down). After I cut in the buttter, I slowly added 1/6 C of ice water, until the mixture came together into a ball. This is not absolute, if you need more water, use it. I did. Chill the dough for 30 minutes.

Next I mixed a tube of almond paste with 1/4 C of sugar and 1 egg. I’ve never figured out how to split an egg effectively, so I made the whole mixture and popped half in the freezer so I can impress my parents when they come down.

Then after 30 minutes of chill time for the dough, I rolled it out to about 1/8 inch thickness and cut it in 1.5 inch stripes.

Then I put my filling in a pastry bag and piped it into each strip. When the dough was filled, I simply folded each strip over and shaped them into S’s!

I baked them for 20 minutes at 375, although I’d recommend checking them at 15 mintues. This is how they turned out:

These were easier than pie and trust me I make a lot of pie and it’s way harder than these. They were so good, that my man, who can never figure out why I get so excited about Dutch Letters ate 1 and a half just tonight.  If you are a displaced Iowan and need a taste of home, these are for you. Enjoy!

Now if someone could just fry me a Pork Tenderloin sandwich, I’d be in hog Heaven!

There’s no need to be a jerk April 18, 2012

Let me start out by saying…I have a very spirited 2-year-old. When she’s up, she’s up and when she’s down, she’s down-sometimes literally, like in the parking lot of our local market, or Target, or favorite Mexican restaurant. My child, I think was delivered to me, to humble me and wipe most of the judgment out of me.  Lately, things have been turning around, as we’ve been a little more consistent with discipline as well as PRAYER. That being said, even though I just have one kid right now, I know first hand what its like to dread trips to the grocery store, to cross my fingers that lunch out will be ok, and just generally not know what to expect in a day, etc, etc.

But I do have a bone to pick with some parents I’ve been noticing lately. Let me explain.

Scenario 1:

Today I was in Target when I saw a mom shout down an aisle to a kid (who wasn’t even down that row) “Chelsea, come on, right now.” I heard an elementary school kid answer “ok!” As I passed the mom, who was pushing a cart next to a 12-year-old, who was holding a baby, she said to the 12-year-old (loudly and expressively) “She is driving me nuts today.”

Scenario 2:

I was out to lunch with a hand full of girls and their toddlers/preschoolers. We met at a place that my kid traditionally freaks out at, so I left her with her dad, who happened to be off. There is a playground, but it’s not toddler friendly, plus it had also been raining. I don’t do wet slides. Yuck. Most of the other girls brought their toddlers. None of them were misbehaving (unless you call normal toddler wandering around misbehaving). Out of no where one of the girls yelled at her 2 or 3-year-old “SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW.” Yelled. Not said sternly. Yelled. Then she loudly proclaimed to all of us (in front of all of her kids) that her kids had been driving her crazy lately.

Scenario 3:

I was getting out of the passenger side of our car at a Braums, somewhere in the heart of Oklahoma on a trip to the Midwest, as another mom was getting out of her mini van. As she opened the sliding door to let her daughter out, this is what she was saying to her 4-year-old (2 feet from my face). “YOU HAVE ASKED ME THREE TIMES, and I SAID WE WERE GOING TO GRANDMA’S” A few minutes later in the bathroom, I had the unfortunate experience of watching this same little girl get berated for not drying her hands fast enough.

Ok, here’s the deal. I get it. I get it that motherhood is hard and exhausting work. My morning started like this today, “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,” at 7:30am. It continued like that until 7:00pm. That’s how most days go. Two weeks ago, the Beagle ate the Lab/Rot’s food and Chickadee heard me reprimand him. Now for 2 weeks, it’s constant, “Mommy, Toby eat Attie?” all day long. I’d be lying if I said this doesn’t get a little redundant explaining over and over again, that “Yes, Toby did eat Attie’s food, but it’s ok because he apologized.” (He didn’t really, but whatever, he can’t talk).  And when it’s not that, it’s something else, because she’s a toddler.  Toddlers and children are learning how to be good and respectable people. And they learn how to do that from US!!! Toddlers and children ask a lot of questions because they are learning more in a day than we learn in a year. Toddlers and children fidget because they have a lot of energy. And that’s normal. It’s good. If your toddler didn’t have energy, you’d be in a specialist’s office figuring out why.

There is no need to be a jerk to our kids. There is simply no need. Kind of like there’s no need for your boss to be a jerk or your spouse to be a jerk or that random guy on the interstate or in the parking lot to be a jerk. It’s just not ok. Why do parents EVER think it’s ok to yell at their children (unless they are in imminent danger)?  I get that sometimes all we want to do is yell. I get it, seriously, but it’s not ok. If we yell at our children in public we are shaming them and there is nothing worse that we could do to them.  If we say that they drive us crazy in front of them, we are shaming them. If we tell our child’s siblings bad things about them, we are shaming them. Last time I checked, none of us like to be shamed, let alone in public. But here’s the scary thing, if these parents have no qualms with shaming their children in public, in front of strangers or friends, what do they do behind closed doors?

Parents, please stop yelling at your children. Pray for patience. Learn the art of calming down before you lash out. We don’t let our children throw hissy fits, why is it ok for us to? By all means discipline your children. Teach them to be good little people, but don’t do it with yells and screams. Yells and screams don’t produce positive change, unless it’s deterring your child from running in the street, as previously mentioned (I literally yelled “STOP” just this morning-why is the street so enticing??).

There were three of us, three girls, all two years apart and my parents never yelled, not at us, not at each other. You can bet your life we were disciplined. You can bet we were scared of our parent’s discipline (a little more of mom’s than dad’s). But they never yelled. And we are better for it. We felt loved and secure because of it. Parenthood can happen sans yelling.

Why we tell our daughter she is beautiful, and why you should tell your’s, too! April 6, 2012

This idea behind this post is so very complex that there is NO way I can tackle all that I want to here. It is such a huge issue, that books and documentaries need to be (and are) dedicated to it. Let me start with 2 stories:

Mine: I grew up the oldest of three girls. In my day (the 1990′s) all pre-teen/middle school girls were either chubby or rail thin. (Now they are either obese or perfect looking-and those are two more lengthy posts I don’t have time for right now). I erred on the chubby side. To top it off, I had braces and my boobs were too big. My hair was WAY too long. I wasn’t cute. Boys weren’t piling up to ask me out or hold hands. Nevertheless, my parents told me constantly how beautiful I was. And for the most part, I believed them. Like any girl, I thought I was kind of fat (I still do-who doesn’t?) and I didn’t like my boobs (who does?) I wasn’t by arrogant about my looks, but I was ok with them. I didn’t loathe myself.

My friend’s: I don’t know much of this story, but my friend (who said I could share this), is the oldest of 4 girls. I didn’t know her growing up but I know her now. I don’t know her sisters at all, but have seen pictures of them of Facebook. Their mother, in an attempt to stave off arrogance, didn’t tell them that they were pretty.  (They are ALL very pretty girls) Thus, they grew up not believing that they were pretty. While their mom’s intentions were noble and good, they back fired.

SO, fast forward to now. I have my own little girl (and another on the way). Subjectively, I think she’s beautiful. Even when she was a newborn, a wrinkly 5 lb newborn, I could not believe how wonderfully and amazingly beautiful she was. I think that even if she is someday awkward in middle school, I will still think she is beautiful.  BUT, here’s the hard truth-no matter how objectively or subjectively beautiful she is, culture will tell her undoubtedly that she is flawed, and that will happen very, very very soon.

Here’s the deal. Not only is my child beautiful in my estimation, she is objectively smart and objectively athletic (takes after her daddy on that one-wohoo). I also think she’s pretty hilarious-a total spit fire. Furthermore, as her parents, we are trying to instill in her goodness. This is hard, but it’s so important. We are trying to teach her respect, kindness, generosity, and how not to whine. all of the time (AHHH!!:)) These things are the most important parts of raising little girls: esteeming them, building them up, teaching them kindness. As a culture, we have no problem telling our girls that they are smart, or athletic, kind, or funny. (Well, I admit to a large degree there is still a bias toward boys/men in all of these categories-but once again, another post, or book, or EPIC). When she aces her first test, she’ll know she’s smart. During the first race she wins or basket she makes, she’ll know she’s athletic. When people laugh at her stories or jokes, she’ll know she’s funny. What I’m saying, is there will be markers and affirmation for these other attributes. But I think that in all of this we forget that maybe she also wants to hear, “you are beautiful.” Don’t I? Don’t you? Despite all of our other attributes?

At the end of the day, although we know that who we are on the inside IS the most important thing. (We also know that when a beautiful woman opens her mouth and only garbage comes out of it, she becomes ugly). Appearance is important to us. As much as we say “oh I don’t care about how I look,” we do. If this wasn’t true, why do we spend time on our hair? Why do we spend time on our make-up or buying clothes that we like? Why do we get pedicures? Why do we wear high heels that give us bunions when we turn 28 (sad day for me 5 years ago….still missing my heals even now)? Why do even very little girls have an opinion about their personal style? Why do they want to dress up in mom’s clothes, or wear tutus over their jeans? We can buck this innate fact as much as we want, we can say it’s a lie, but deep down, we want to be and feel beautiful…desired. If this were not the case then attraction would not be an issue in relationships.  We are who we are on both the inside and the outside. The inside is the most important, but the outside is important to us, too.  And a when a woman or young girl does not feel beautiful, her insides are affected.

If you believe in a Creator (which you may or may not), and if you believe He is good, and you believe He made humans in His own image, then we are all beautiful. We may not be beautiful in the world’s eyes, but we are beautiful as creations. I don’t believe in a God that would make some ugly and some pretty. I just don’t.

So that’s why, if no one else tells my little girls that they are pretty, they will hear it from me and from their Daddy. They will know the abundant truth that we think they are valuable and worthy inside AND out. They will hear everyday “you are smart, you are one of a kind, you are loved, you are pretty.” And no matter what, at some point they will hear or believe the opposite. And when that happens then they will be irrevocably changed in some way, and it will break my heart. But I, as their mom will keep telling them “you are smart, you are one of a kind, you are loved, you are pretty.” Because they are.

Three more stories:

Mine: The other day a random girl who I happened to see TWICE in one week (I also happened to be wearing the same blue dress both times), told me I looked stunning pregnant. She pretty much immediately apologized, “Oh that’s so weird, I’m sorry.” No one ever (besides my husband) says that. And you know what? It made me feel pretty great and I told her so and the thought made me smile for days.

My dad’s: While visiting church members at a hospital he encountered an older woman who was volunteering. Having such a kind and sweet countenance, he found himself telling her “You have a beautiful face.” He was embarrassed by the randomness of such a statement, but I’m also sure this woman’s day (and maybe week) was made.

A middle schooler’s: While serving as a leader on a youth trip in Florida, I was counseling a 7th grader. In the middle of our conversation, an older youth, one who was pretty cool, walked up and interrupted us to ask me a question. In the middle of his question he stopped, and said to her, “You are just beautiful.” Years later, when I brought up that incident she still remembered it and smiled. I hope she still does.

Tell your daughter she’s beautiful today. Tell someone you know that they are beautiful. Tell a stranger, too.

To see how culture distorts natural beauty, click here:

Photoshopped

To read about the film, Missrepresentation, and how you can go against culture’s flow to esteem young women, click here:

Missrepresentation

If you are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and you are interested in helping to build confident and healthy young girls, click here:

Beautiful and Amazing Me

Top 10 Signs You are Ready to Have a Baby April 4, 2012

Ok, this post is not for those thinking of having a baby. If it were, the title would be Top 10 Signs you are Ready to Conceive a Baby. And the answer to that, if that’s why you clicked on this post, is this: you will never be totally ready to conceive a baby. You will never have enough money. If you wait until your school debt is gone….well, you’ll be waiting forever. So if you and your other half want a kid, get on it. I don’t have 10 signs because this post is really a post for those who are ready to get an already conceived baby out of their body!

Let me lead with something. I’m not a gushy one when it comes to pregnancy. I’m endlessly and completely grateful that I have a life inside of me (and carried one more before this). But I’m not ooey gooey about it. I don’t like strangers touching my belly…or even non-strangers, for that matter. I don’t like getting bigger, an excuse to be fat (as some would say). I don’t like random attention from people I don’t know-partially because I’m not sure if it will be negative or positive (the whole “you’re huge!” or “you’re tiny!” situation-you know).  All that being said-I LOVE feeling little chickadee moving inside of me. Even more, I love the way it looks when I can SEE her moving (like an alien-it’s awesome). And I LOVE pregnancy hair (it’s so thick and great….ahhh).

BUT alas, these are the top 10 signs that I am ready to get this kid out…despite the impending unpredictability of the child birthing process and despite the fact that I will have a toddler and a newborn and 2 dogs (one being a Beagle) all under the same roof (AHHHHHH!!!!). Oh and a husband (but he’s no trouble at all).

10. I can’t see my feet. Heck, if they weren’t best friends with my ottoman, I’m not sure I’d know they were there at all. Also, when I do see them (propped up on the ottoman) they are HUGE! Huge, I tell you, and I usually kinda think my feet are cute. Not anymore.

9. My ankles have, as of late, been acting like teenagers with new cars. Coming and going as they see fit.

8.  I gave up counting pee breaks last night at midnight-it was already something like 6 or 7.

7.  Chocolate, marinara, and OJ all bring on some crazy acid reflux. I can live without juice and marinara (there is pesto in this world) but chocolate….dark, decadent, luscious, chocolate….oh how I miss you, my friend. These days, I’m just throwing down trail mix.

6. My engagement rings and I are separated indefinitely. Look, it was just getting too hard. I tried, I tried to stick it out. I tried to be ok with letting my fingers swell over them. In the end, we just grew apart…or rather together? Anyway, they had to go. Sad day.

5. I was in my pj’s today until 11:30, Chickadee #1 was in her’s until noon.

4.  I think that I am now officially waddling around AND I look pregnant from behind. I know, I looked a few minutes ago.

3.  Last week, over the most delicious pancakes at the most charming diner with my man and Chickadee #1 I started crying…over absolutely nothing.

2.  Two words: pee sneeze. Sorry guys and women without kids yet, it’s true. The pee sneeze is showing his ugly ugly face with more and more regularity. And I hate him. We are mortal enemies, particularly when meeting up in Target (which luckily has only happened once).

1. I cringed when someone asked me how much longer I had and my husband rounded up. HE ROUNDED UP! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? “2 months,” he said. Um….no 6 weeks. Do not round up, homeboy. Never round up.

Home stretch. Thank goodness.

What to say to a pregnant girl February 29, 2012

I’ve gotten a lot of interesting responses to my pregnancy this time around. And by responses, I’m talking about the way that I look. Here’s the deal, I’m not a super cute baby bump kind of gal. I’m not saying that to elicit “yes you are’s.” I’m saying that because it’s true. I’m about 5’3″ with a very short torso and long legs. I’m busty, so since my torso is short, my whole upper half is well….round. Also, it’s my second pregnancy and I’m just bigger than last time. It’s ok, I’ve resigned myself to empire waist sundresses and cute hair, shoes, and make-up (that is when I have the energy for that).

Here’s the interesting part….I’ve had 2 very different reactions this time around. Let’s talk about the WEIRDEST one first.

Reaction #1

So, I’m in this new women’s group at my church. The girls are all about my age and I’ve never met any of them before. I joined when I was about 24 or 25 weeks along…noticeably pretty big. I felt like the standard “I”m pregnant, look at me!” announcement wasn’t necessary based on my size, so I skipped it. (I don’t really like to make that announcement anyway, which is why some of you reading this right now are thinking “Wait, she’s pregnant? Did she say something on Facebook?” I didn’t). Anyway, no one said a thing. Those of you who are of the female persuasion know the drill when you see a pregnant girl: first figure out if she’s just overweight, when you’ve deduced that she is not, then start asking questions like “oh when are you due?” “how do you feel?” “boy or girl?” etc. etc. Well, no one said a word. I thought,“Well, I’m wearing a baggy sweater, maybe they just think I’m rocking the 80′s thing” (which I was because I was also wearing tights, they just weren’t neon). So I gave them the benefit of the doubt. The next week however, I busted out a pretty tight belly accentuating top, skinny jeans, and TOMS. Still….NOTHING. I got some compliments on my shoes….while standing…so they had to see the belly. But still nothing. The next week, I wore and dress and nothing. The next time we went out to lunch and consequently shared delivery stories the whole time….still, nothing.

It had been 4 weeks at this point, and I was beginning to feel awkward, like “Well, how do I tell them NOW?” Now, it’s been almost 2 months and still no one has said a word. So, it’s becoming the elephant in the room. I’ve thought through this and if I go into labor before the study is over, I’ll email my leader and tell her and they’ll all collectively say “ahhh, she was pregnant.” If someone asks me before I go into labor, I’ll say, while pointing at my HUGE belly “Seriously? Did I have to spell. it. out?” (I’ll say it more nicely than that, but that’s what I’ll be thinking). And if no one notices and I go into labor after the study and they see me on the street looking normally, I introduce them to my new baby.

Ok. Reaction #2. (and this is the WAY more common one).

“You’re due when? Oh my gosh, are you carrying twins?”

“You’re 38 weeks right? Oh, just 28. I thought you said 38.”

“You’re so big…and cute.”

“Whoaaaaa, Mama!” (ok, that was my 2 year old when she saw my belly and it was actually SUPER cute).

Whatever, I know I’m big but it’s so funny to me that people feel the need to tell me that. I mean, when we see fat people we don’t say “Whoa, you are a FATSO! You are huge.” Conversely to really skinny men, “Um, eat much?” Why is it ok to tell women who already feel GROSS that they are huge????

SO, I’ve compiled an appropriate list of things to say to pregnant women.

1. Wow, you look great.

2. Man, you are carrying that kid great!

3. You are so cute.

These may be lies….LIES. But say them anyway.

Oh and this is one I finally got today, from a friend in my workout group…and it’s my favorite.

4. You don’t even look pregnant from behind! (Brilliant, I love that one, it’s the best!)

So, the next time you see a pregnant girl just tell her she looks awesome…don’t say “glowing” because we all know that’s just code for “sweaty,” which she probably is.

Komen v. Planned Parenthood February 3, 2012

Now that the country has had a couple of days to untangle their panties following the Komen v. Planned Parenthood fiasco, let’s consider just a few ideas:

1. We live in a free country in which non-profits are allowed (Praise God) to donate their money how they see fit.

2. While Planned Parenthood does provide breast exams for low income women, they are not actively participating in breast cancer research, therefore by withdrawing support to this organization we will withdraw our support from breast cancer victims, their families, and future generations (possibly our very own daughters). This is an outrageous thing to do and makes us guilty of practicing politics over principle (the very thing we are angry at Komen for doing).

3. We must remember that Komen’s statement regarding their withdrawal of funding for Planned Parenthood, is because Planned Parenthood is under investigation by the US government. We can speculate that it is for other reasons, but we don’t know that. If it was for other reasons, well, once again, thank God our country is free and we are all entitled to our own beliefs. Thank God, seriously. (Side note: I’m sure Planned Parenthood would not give money to a pro-life non-profit agency and that’s ok, because this is America).

4. The nearly $700,000 in donations withdrawn from Planned Parenthood is a DROP in THE BUCKET when looking at their budget, and it was recouped virtually overnight by donors angry at Komen.

5.  We must remember that the battle, the enemy here is not Republicans. The enemy is cancer. Sometimes we get too wrapped up in the fight against each other that we forget who the fight is really against and that is CANCER.

On a personal note, I have volunteered with Komen rather extensively and run several races and I can tell you two things:

The women who devote their lives to Komen are passionate beyond belief about breast cancer research and prevention. They take what they do very seriously and they do it well. They are tireless in their work. They are good, kind, driven people and I love them.

In my time with Komen, I was one of the few conservatives. I’m sure some applaud the demise of their relationship with PP and others are probably upset by it.

All this to say, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water.

Below is a link which I saw last night on the Arkansas for the Cure Facebook page…..basically I might have been able to skip this blog post entirely and just re-post this,

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Arkansas

Oh wait, it seems Komen reinstated their funding of Planned Parenthood while I wrote this blog post, and this is what I have to say-political pressure apparently works in both directions and I will still support Komen.

PS. To my followers, I’m really sorry for all of the political posts lately….I just can’t help myself, it’s that time of the year…I’m writing a completely non-political blog post in my head right now!!! Stay tuned.

Before we take another swing at Tebow January 15, 2012

Before we take another swing at Tim Tebow today, let’s consider a few things.

What Tim Tebow can teach us about our culture

1. Flagrant and unabashed worship of God or more specifically Jesus makes us uncomfortable (unless of course, it’s a shout out to the man upstairs at an awards show mixed in with a flurry of accidental f bombs that have been beeped out). On the other hand flagrant and unabashed self worship is highly praised, sought after, and yes, preferred.

2. At the end of the day, we don’t really want the nice guys to win. We still prefer the bad guys to win. (Is it because the bad guys make us feel better about ourselves? Hmmmm.)

3. Don’t worry, religious bigotry is still alive and well in our country. Alive and well. And don’t hold your breath, it’s probably not going anywhere anytime soon.

What Tim Tebow can teach Christians

1. We, Christians must not be very vocal about our faith, as it seems Tebow is the only one causing a stir. Not only that, his Christianity seems quite shocking to everyone. So, I guess the rest of us have been pretty successful at keeping it under wraps. Way to go, that was the plan, right?

2. Tim Tebow has an amazing talent. He is gifted athletically more than any Joe Schmo you know or work with, but his main concern is not with himself or his fame. He knows his gifts are from God and he declares it, weekly, in front of millions people amidst endless criticism. He doesn’t care.  Do you do that? Do I?

3. I’ve not heard of any angry tweets coming from Tebow. Nor has he cleared his name in an interview with People magazine or the Washington Post. He’s been turning the other cheek a lot in face undeserved hatred. Do you? Do I?

What Jesus says about Tim Tebow

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:10-12

 

A little dose of independence January 10, 2012

My little girl is almost 2 now and I’m thinking she might turn out to be the most independent person on the face of the earth.

Some early signs…

1. When we eat lunch with her grandparents, she grabs their hands afterwards as we are leaving and starts shouting “Bye! Bye! Bye” to us while waving madly and jumping up and down.

2. When we pick her up at the church nursery, she waves hello and smiles and then gets in line for the slide again.

3. As soon as we open the door to Chick fil A, she runs away from us and to the playground as quickly as possible.

4. Heaven forbid she hold both of our hands while walking across parking lots…one is MORE than sufficient and really she’d rather just be on her own. In fact, I’m seriously considering getting one of those kid leash backpack things I used to knock, because I really think that would make life a lot easier.

Her independence truly TRULY makes me happy. Isn’t this one of the main goals of parenting? Don’t all of us aim to foster an environment for our children that will prepare them for adulthood independent of mom and dad? Yes, I know, someday I’ll be a crying mom as I watch her drive her first car, or go on her first date, or move into a dorm. But at the end of the day, we WANT her to be a mature and self-sufficient adult. We don’t want her to live with us forever (well maybe Matt does) or even be our best friend.

That being said…there has been one little hitch to my pride in her independence. About  3 weeks ago, she stopped wanting to sit in my lap during our daily reading ritual before nap and bedtime. Seeing as she has never really snuggled and it’s our only cuddle time, this broke my heart a little.  It didn’t help when I found out that if other family members put her down, she still sits in their laps. *Ouch!  Yet, I have not forced her. Every day/night I put her in my lap for a story and when she resists, I let her sit next to me in the infant to toddler rocker she just now rediscovered (Matt suggested that I hide it).  Sometimes she doesn’t even want me to read to her, but she’d rather read to me. IN-DE-PEN-DENT!!!!

And then a few days ago, during some pre-reading, pre-bedtime, free play I was sitting in her bean bag chair as she pushed her babies around in their stroller and played with her animals. Then, all of a sudden, she came and sat on my lap and we laughed and laughed about who knows what and she hugged me over and over again and we read books for almost 30 minutes. And it was wonderful.

And this whole scenario has made me think about my own relationship with God, as many aspects of parenting will.

The God I believe in and worship is kind and patient with me, even when I am independent and attempting to live my life apart from him. He does not stray, nor does he waver in his love or even his like for me. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is always present.

The God I believe in and worship does not FORCE me into a relationship with him. Nor does he force me to love him. He offers his love freely and allows me to live daily with or without him (of course, sometimes I incur negative consequences as a result of my stubbornness).

There have been so many times that I don’t want to spend time with him or obey him, but he is gentle and compassionate upon my return and welcomes me with open arms as the prodigal son was welcomed with open arms by his father.

As I seek to emulate my Heavenly Father, I hope to be a mother who is patient and kind with my children, and a mother who does not force my children to love me or worship me (because who wants coerced love?). This is hard and I have not mastered it and will likely be always trying to master it, but I can try.  As I let her sit in her big girl chair, I must always let her know that I love her no matter what and if she wants to be with me, I’m there. And when my feelings are hurt someday that she’d rather be with her friends on a Friday night, I hope to remember those mornings when I chose sleep over prayer or coffee over confession or anger over grace.  And when she comes home, I hope I’m there-waiting, present, and attentive to her because when I come home that is how God waits for me.