It’s time to clean up the language… January 7, 2012

So, with the new year dawning and spring in the TX air (at least for this week), everything is feeling anew and afresh (except the Christmas decor still up, that is) and I’ve been thinking about some attainable New Year’s resolutions.

Seeing that I don’t really drink too much soda and I already work out, I need to get a little creative.

I DEFINITELY eat way too many french fries and potato chips, so that’s one for sure. I think I’ll refrain from them…at least a little.

But something I definitely need to do is clean up my language, especially since my baby girl is almost 2! Let me back up, just a little…

It was around the year 2004-2005. I had just graduated from grad school and was in my first big girl job. I was hanging out (not dating) this guy who well….did not turn out to be my husband. We were at the movies and already the night was not going well. We were trying to recover from a minor skirmish regarding the movie theatre I’d chosen when in the middle of a story I was telling him, he interrupted me to say this: “so…you haven’t been working on the “like” thing, have you?” I abruptly ended my story, maybe called him an unflattering name to his face and then wondered the entire movie what I saw in this guy.

Years later, when telling stories, I often think to myself the same question….”so, you’re still not working on the “like” thing, huh?” As rude as he was to say that (and hypocritical, I might add), he had a good point. I’m not sure who in the 80′s made it cool to say “like” needlessly and all the time, but they have succeeded in making the most people in their 30′s and younger sound dumber than they are.

I recently heard a piece on NPR (which I’ll never be able to find to republish, sorry) about a language specialist who taught people to rid their speech of unnecessary fillers: um, like, uh, you know. They suggested that every time you hear yourself saying a word that isn’t needed, you stop and reset. For instance if I’m talking along and I say “like,” I should stop and reword the sentence omitting “like.” This takes time and attention, but I know it can be done. How do I know? I’ve done it. I had a really smart professor in college and everytime I talked to him, I tried to choose my words in such a way that he would think I was smart, too (yeah, yeah, I’m a first child pleaser type, sue me).

SO, 2012…here I come. “Like”less, who’s with me?

Let’s talk birth control…. December 9, 2011

I’m a big news app junkie, and while until yesterday I wasn’t aware that the Plan B One Step pill (otherwise known as the morning after pill) was on its way to counters next to condoms and KY. However, after Health and Human Services Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius vetoed the move, my news apps were full of articles about angry women’s rights advocates and drug makers.

Let’s consider a few things…

1. Women’s rights advocates are angry, BUT let us remember, women can still get the pill. They can get birth control. They can get abortions. In fact, in many states they can have legal late-term abortions. We are not talking about women getting the Plan B pill. We are talking about young women and sometimes children (kids that get their periods in the 3rd grade can get pregnant-yes they can) obtaining this pill. There are emotional and cognitive differences between a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old. We don’t trust even 17 year olds at the ballot, we don’t trust them to smoke, or serve in the military. We don’t trust them to get married without parental consent. We don’t trust them (or anyone until 25) with rental cars. I personally, don’t think we should trust them to drive (largely based on my own horrific driving in the late 90′s).  WHY, when it comes to Plan B, are we considering children to be women? Oh and PS, girls GIRLS under 17 can still get the Plan B, they just need a….prescription.

2. We all know that pregnancy is not the only consequence of unprotected sex. In my opinion, and call me crazy, but HIV is a little bit of a bigger deal than having a baby (keeping it or giving it up). Not to mention the other slew of sexually transmitted diseases that are still spreading…because people don’t use protection. If Plan B is OTC, teenagers will use it regularly and it is not intended to be used regularly. It is intended to be used in an emergency, a whoops.  Condoms are the safest way to have sex and in my opinion, should be used 100% of the time until marriage. If my teenager was having sex, I’d want them to use a condom. Birth control is not, nor has it ever been a form of protection against disease.

3. In this article Women’s Groups Outraged…(NPR), a doctor at the Boston Medical Center, claims that asking for a Plan B from a pharmacist is embarrassing for women of all ages, thereby deterring its sale. That, rather, they should be able to buy them with their birthday cards, etc at check out.  There are a lot of embarrassing things we have to buy in life: buying Tucks pads after you have a baby, buying tampons when you are a teenager and that cute guy from English works at the grocery store, buying condoms, buying KY, buying meds for Shingles that happens to be the same prescription people with Herpes buy. I mean, get over it. Life is embarrassing.  Just ask for it from a pharmacist.

4. All of us, 17 and older or younger, have to march our butts to the doctor to get birth control. When I was in high school, girls used to park behind the Planned Parenthood so they could get birth control without their parents spotting their cars (we lived in a REALLY small town). I think everyone would agree, that if you are sexually active, you need to visit a physician. And if you need a Plan B and can’t get into an ObGyn, your friendly ER doctor will see you, too.

5. I mean, I know that drug companies are always always concerned about the well-being of their clients and not money, I know they never push anything but health and wellness, ever. But, could this push to make Plan B OTC, have a little something to do with….revenue? I don’t know, I’m just saying.

I’m not living in the dark ages, I’m not.  Half of my friends lost their virginity by 16 or 17, the rest by college.  In choosing to remain a virgin until marriage, I was almost completely alone. Even so, I KNOW kids are having sex. Actually, I just assume most kids/college students are having sex unless they tell me otherwise. But let’s think about this as adults (and parents or future parents).  When I have the infamous sex talk with my little girl, more likely sooner than later in this culture, I will advocate abstinence for a million emotional, physical, and spiritual reasons. Having done that, I realize that my child lives in a sex crazed world and if she has sex, I hope as a parent, that I have fostered a relationship with her in which we can talk about it. This is unrealistic, yes. But it is my hope and prayer. Maybe I’m in the minority that believe that it IS my business what my child is doing until she moves out (and even then I really hope and pray she does the right thing). I want to know what her Facebook looks like (someday, no my 22 month old does not have a FB), I want to know her friends and their parents, I want her boyfriend (oh God, please don’t let her date until she’s 25) to come over and get to know us. I want to have open and loving communication with her. But loving, also means honest, and honest means I’ll have to teach her hard truths. Truths like: sex is great and awesome, but not when you are 16 (or 17 or 20), and not with a crazy teenage boy who doesn’t really love you, but if you do have sex (which I don’t approve of) use a condom, there is no cure for HIV or Herpes, and come talk to me, not your little friends who don’t know anything about sex. But no matter what I love you and that will never ever change, no matter what you do.

Being a mom puts a whole new spin on life. A terrifying new spin on life. It puts things in perspective.

So, all that to say, way to go Kathleen Sebelius and President Obama. Thank you for protecting our little girls.

Americans: I think you may be dumb November 10, 2011

Ok, it’s been a long time and I will offer explanation in a future blog…however this one will be short and really I could probably make this subject into a book someday but for now, it’s a short blog post.

Last night while I was lounging around watching DVR’ed episodes of my new favorite show, Chopped, on my new favorite channel, Food Network, since my old favorite channel TLC is now a channel of weirdos, apparently there was a Republican debate.

In said debate, Rick Perry forgot one of the three departments he would want to abolish in an embarrassing display that literally ended with an “oops.” When Perry entered the race months ago, he was easily at the top of all the polls. Why? Because people like his track record in the state of Texas and I’d say he is the most electable Republican. But the world quickly found out that Perry is not a good debater and he has been sinking in the polls ever since. Perhaps last night, the mother of all gaffes has finally hammered the nail into the coffin that is his run for President.

And now I will tell you why I think Americans are DUMB! Every election season, I keep hearing people say, “I’m gonna watch the debates and then decide what I think.” But a politician’s skills as an orator are not necessarily indicative of their skills as a leader. Similarly, (as in the case of Howard Dean), coolness (as in being cool) is not indicative of whether one can be a good President. That guy was ahead in Democratic polls in 2004 until he got so excited he screamed into the mic, killing his run. Come on people, we all watched The King’s Speech last year. How quickly and succinctly someone can form their thoughts or deliver them should not affect our choice for President. Americans are dumb because rather than reading about the candidates, what they’ve done, what they’ve written, and how their constituents feel about them, we base our decisions on how cool they are, how they sound and give speeches, and how many celebrities think they are cool.

Anyone can be a gifted orator or debater-they are often former Theatre majors and Communications Majors (I was one and I have no business running our country-nor do most of my friends-no offense, guys). Not everyone can lead a country. “Doing our homework” before we vote means doing our homework. And it doesn’t mean watching a debate and reading your friends posts on Twitter and Facebook. It doesn’t mean believing empty campaign promises written by gifted speech writers. It means careful research and consideration. It means looking a track records and influences and associates. It means USING YOUR MIND to make wise, thoughtful, and intelligent decisions before you vote.

***This has been an equal opportunity blog post meant for anyone of any party affiliation.

Hey Hollywood, could you just put on a little Weight? August 2, 2011

This year, in our annual watch a WHOLE series of a sit com at once tradition, Matt and I are watching 30 Rock. I was an immediate fan for 2 reasons: 1. I adore Tina Fey and secretly wish I had her job and 2. Tracy Morgan-enough said. Matt is still on the fence since now he compares everything to Arrested Development (a standard which is so high, nothing will ever come close). Oh well. This is all beside the point.

Short explanation of 30 Rock, if you, like me, are just now enjoying or haven’t yet enjoyed this little comedy:

Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is the head writer for a sketch comedy show called The Girly Show, starring Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). To improve its slipping ratings, the network hires Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), a big wig in the appliance world, to revive the show. He changes the show’s name to TGS and adds the wonderful and already famous Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) to broaden viewership.

SO-right now we’re working on Season 2. At the beginning of the season Jenna is just back from a summer stint in the musical version of Mystic Pizza (oh, thanks for reminding me to re-watch this great cult classic starring Julia Roberts and Anna Beth Gish!), and has subsequently gained a lot of weight around the middle (coincidentally the exact same place I carry my weight-cool!)

Jack immediately orders her to lose the weight and crazy crash diets ensue (ie. the paper diet-where one consumes only paper until the desired weight is achieved). As the diets fail, Jenna finds herself in a self deprecating, yet hilarious sketch in which her main line is “Me want food.” It’s a success and Jenna decides to keep the new tire around her waist. Her ratings soar, she becomes the spokesperson for a plus sized perfume, and even Jack likes her more. Around episode 3 or 4, however, she starts to tragically, lose the weight and well that’s where I’ve left off because more important things like my toddler and painting our new house beacon.

But this is what I was thinking about….although this is all written in jest and is indeed pretty funny, wouldn’t it be so great if TV/Movie stars were just a little squishy like the rest of us 30 somethings? Even I was a little sad when Jenna’s weight started coming off, though it was CLEARLY a padded stomach. Even I liked her better just a little fat. I did.

Then I started thinking about Friends. Remember when Rachel was just a little chubbier (and by chubbier, I mean, not as ridiculously/work out 2 hours a day/diet/perfectly toned as she is in later seasons chubbier) in the first season? I liked her more then, too. I didn’t subconsciously wish I could be thinner than I was because she looked like a normal healthy girl, who worked out and ate moderately.

Hmmmm…so here are the questions I’ve been asking myself:

1. Would I feel just a little better about my own squishiness if celebrities were a little squishy, too?

2. Would said celebrities be more likeable if they were a little squishy?

3. Would talented/squishy actresses have more of a chance to make it in Hollywood?

4. Would we be less obsessive about weight in our country?

I think the answer to all of these questions is YES!

So, Hollywood-please will you just put on a few pounds, not 50-100, just 10-15.

Just a suggestion! Thanks.

(Side note-I know it’s the inside that really counts, and I believe that-but let’s be honest, we all care about our outsides, too. We do, don’t lie!)

MVP’s in the Rock July 20, 2011

Ok, um….this is a very long and year bookish entry-sorry. You can skip it if you don’t want to read my sap.

Very early on in our time in Little Rock, I figured out that it wasn’t just another move and I’ve done a lot of moving. So far in my life, I’ve lived in 4 states and moved WAY more than that. BUT I wasn’t used to moving somewhere without a job or a school. Matt and I made the decision-for many reasons, that I wouldn’t work. It was a hard decision and one I questioned a lot that first year, but in retrospect probably the right decision (despite some judgmental looks I got). This decision insured that when Matt was off (which was seldom) we could spend that vital and precious time together. However, it also meant that my extroverted self didn’t really have an easy way to form relationships. Needless to say, my first months here were pretty lonely.

Thursday morning coffee

About 2 months into our time here, the wife of one of Matt’s colleagues contacted the other wives to see if we would be interested in meeting on Thursday morning for coffee every week. YES! Oh please YES! So what began as a group of girls who didn’t know one another, became something that I looked forward to every week: coffee with girls who understood EXACTLY what it’s like to walk with a husband through residency and who could identify with crazy hours and poor pay like no one else could. In the last three years we’ve moved our morning coffee from Starbucks to Panera and from 7am (what were we thinking) to 8am to 9am. We’ve added a wife whose husband is one year behind ours’. We all had babies (save one little guy who has yet to make an appearance yet), and now most of us are moving on. It’s been a great ride with these girls who I consider to now be lifelong friends. I love you each and am so grateful to have walked through life with you-you’ve made it much more than bearable-but enjoyable. Thank you. I already miss Thursday mornings with you!

UCA Cru

About 6 months into our time here, my great friend Courtney found out about a campus ministry in a small town north of here. We met with one of their directors, who at the time had just had a new baby boy (said baby boy is currently betrothed to my little girl, but that’s another blog post). We hit it off with her right away and both Courtney and I knew that a. we wanted to be involved with this ministry and b. we really liked Becca.

Since that time, Becca has grown from just someone who I liked to someone I consider to be a life long friend, as well. Both from the Midwest, we can commiserate on these crazy Southern traditions (read: RAZORBACK FOOTBALL!) and how much we miss real winters and big cities. I’m right behind her in the child rearing stuff and what a help it’s been to bounce stuff off of her.

Becca-I’ve loved doing life with you in Little Rock. I love your honesty and admire your walk with the Lord….and I’m really just breathing a sigh of relief that your parents are moving to Dallas, so we don’t have to say goodbye for real!

After a few months of knowing Becca, I was introduced to Kendra, a college sophomore who was ready to be discipled. On our first meeting somehow I asked Kendra two very important questions (I mean honestly so important that they may be considered deal breakers to some, not me, but almost). 1. Do you like coffee? 2. Do you like Anne of Green Gables. To both she answered yes. Whew. We were fast friends. Since that time about 2 1/2 years ago, Kendra and I have tried to meet every week or so. We talk about everything from the Bible, to our faith, to love, to just life stuff. Anyway, meeting with Kendra was such a blessing and though technically I was mentoring her, I often joked to Becca that it was Kendra who was discipling me.

Kendra-you are a blessing to my life in so many ways! I have cherished our coffee times together and look so forward to seeing how the rest of your life unfolds and what God has for you.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention all of the other wonderful people that Matt and I have met through CRU. So Doug, Sam, Emily, Natalie, and Jacqueline, here’s to you guys, too! I so wish we could move you all to FW with us!

Moms and More

After I had Charlie, I joined a Bible Study at my church called Moms and More. I was already a part of another bible study and was sort of on the fence about this one. The format was simple: big group time which included a 10 minute practical mom snippet (like gardening or cleaning or cooking) and a main speaker and small group time. When you get put in small groups, you never know how it’s going to go down. Sometimes you click, sometimes you don’t. This group, quite possibly was the most clicking random small group I’ve ever been in. Tuesday mornings have been a highlight of my week for the last year. The ONLY negative thing I have to say about Moms and More, is that it wrapped up in April and I’ve missed seeing my friends regularly ever since (thank goodness for play dates!) Moms and More buddies-I love you all and am so happy you have been in my life! What a blessing you have been to me and how fun to watch our newborns grow into toddlers!

Here’s the truth-it is not things, or houses, or restaurants, or money that make a place home, it is relationships. I am eternally grateful for the women God placed in my life in Little Rock! I love you all very dearly!

Stroller Strides of Little Rock July 14, 2011

I got pregnant about a year after moving to LR and I knew since my gym didn’t have child care, that I would have to figure something out in the way of fitness. So…I did some googling and discovered a little gem of a program called Stroller Strides of Little Rock. Hmmmm. A fitness program that involves other moms and their babies? Just about that same time, I ran into a friend who’d recently had a baby and then joined this group. She raved about it. SO, after about 3 months of trying to exercise in my living room, I gave in and gave it a whirl.

I’ve never looked back. Not only do the instructors KICK MY BUTT  (so much so that I think I could actually lose weight if I just gave up chocolate, half and half, and Chick Fil A), I also know they really care about me (and my baby). I go to Stroller Strides for so many reasons: friendship, fitness, a reason to get out of the house everyday, accountability, etc, etc.

Thank you Susan for pushing me to the brink and challenging me beyond what I ever thought I could do in a workout. Thanks Stroller Strides for providing friendship and laughter and buddies for my little girl.

I have LOVED my time with you all and will miss this part of my routine! Who knows, someday I may open my own Stroller Strides in Cow Town!

To the Heartbroken at the Ballpark July 8, 2011

Maybe it’s because I have draped my legs over those very same rails with a coke in one hand and a hot dog in the other, and smelled the Ballpark air, and done the wave, and ducked at fly balls countless times, but I wept when I heard the news of the death at Ranger Stadium last night.

I wept because I know that Ballpark so well and I can’t imagine how quickly a fun summer night turned into a tragedy.

I wept because what dad wouldn’t want to catch a fly ball for his kid?

I wept because a son saw his dad’s last moment and in an instant.

I wept because this man was someone’s son, brother, husband/boyfriend, dad,  friend.

I wept because the people who saw him fall to his death will never shake that image from thier minds.

I wept because the player that so kindly lobbed the ball into the crowd will probably blame himself-though it IS NOT his fault.

I just can’t shake the news. I just can’t stop feeling heartbreak for this family, for the fans, for the baseball players.

But all I can do is pray: pray for comfort and healing for the son and family and friends, pray for comfort and peace for Josh Hamilton, pray for an ability to celebrate this man’s life in the midst of this current horror, pray and remember that in life, it is the relationships and not things, or money, or wealth, or position that make us who we are. And relationships are fleeting and gone in an instant.

My heart is so heavy.

My God be with them in a very present and tangible way.

Hillcrest-I’m not sure it gets any better July 5, 2011

One sentence that we have uttered at least once or twice a week since June 2008 is, “Man we love this neighborhood.” Around January, it changed to “Ugh, we’re gonna miss this neighborhood.”

Someone told us when we were looking for homes “Hillcrest” And we listened.

From the day we moved in until 12 days from now, when we move out, we have loved this neighborhood in every way.

Hillcrest is over 100 years old which makes it full of character. Unlike other old neighborhoods I’ve been in, (TCU Fort Worth) the houses that have been added on have been remodeled with class.  Many (like ours) have been pretty much left alone-save an added on laundry room here or there. Yeah, these houses are small, but you can’t replicate their charm in a new home or new neighborhood. And there are flowers-everywhere you look, unbelievable, unkempt, abounding, flowers: Hydrangeas, Daisies, Azaleas, Crape Myrtles, Irises, Hostas, and Gardenias. There are very few manicured bushes. Things just grow willy nilly and I LOVE that.  There are also trees in every yard (granted one fell this Spring in our back yard, making me somewhat suspicious during storms), but they make the streets cozy.

We are about 2 blocks South of a wonderful little street called Kavanaugh. It winds down to our neighborhood from a Northern and more affluent neighborhood called the Heights, but it’s just as wonderful down here as it is up there. We often walk up there for a pizza or cup of coffee at one of the wonderful local restaurants housed there. At any given time, it is full of runners and dog walkers. On Saturdays in the Summer, you can stroll up to a Farmer’s Market at the Baptist Church (reminds me of growing up Baptist in the South, music and all). And on the first Thursday of every month in the Spring and Summer, the streets shut down and are filled with bands while vendors serve cheese and wine.  When we’re out of milk, the baby and I walk 3 blocks over to the grocery store. It’s wonderful. It’s quaint. It’s historic. We love Kavanaugh.

We heart Hillcrest.  There is pride here, but not arrogance. People just love living here. So here’s to you Hillcrest-Ugh, we will miss you!

Here’s to the best Chick-fil-A ever! June 21, 2011

Since Matt and I are cheap (well since I am cheap) and also love chicken, one of the first things we did in Little Rock was find Chick Fil A. This task proved pretty easy as it is literally 3 minutes away-another indication that we’d found just the right house.

This Chick Fil A, we soon discovered is not just your normal CFA-it’s the best one we’ve ever been to. Granted, even your normal CFA’s are wonderful, but there’s just something about our Chick Fil A on Markham in Little Rock. Here’s the short list of why we love it: it is always immaculate, the employees are genuinely kind, they re-fill your drinks as fast as you can drink them, they bring your kids balloons, they stop and talk at your table, and if you go too much (like we do) they introduce themselves to you and then they remember who you are and what you do.

I’m not sure what John Spenst, the owner is doing-but he is doing it right. We will miss this restaurant more than words.  In times that Matt and I were struggling through his grueling schedule, CFA provided a much-needed reprieve from exhaustion and a chance to catch up over a simple sandwich. Here’s to you CFA on Markham for making Little Rock feel a little more like home when we needed it the most. You have been our joy to frequent!

The end of an era June 18, 2011

Can 3 years really be classified as an era? Probably not, but 3 years for us has seemed like forever and a flash all in one. In one month we drive away from Little Rock, AR and call it a day. We may be back, but more than likely we will never live here again. SO, I’ve decided to use the last days here to remember and hail the things we have loved about this little town in the middle of the Natural State.

The first thing we fell in love with here is our little white house. Although the owner didn’t quite believe it, we knew this was home as soon as we walked in. Three bids and three weeks later, we bought our first home. 1200 square feet of 1920′s charm and some 1920′s problems, our house is our little gem.

Although this house has its quirks, and there have been plenty of times I’ve wished for bigger and shinier-at the end of the day, I wish I could pick it up and move it back to Fort Worth with us.

So, here’s to you white house, our first home, the home we brought our baby home to, the home we made our own. We love you and will always remember  our years here. We wish you could move with us, but hope your new owners will love you as much as we have!