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Lessons from Snoopy (aka Toby)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Hindsight.”

What happens when you go back and read your very first blog post ever written (or in my case, the second, my first was a recipe)? You grimace, and scroll, and scroll, and scroll. “Girlfriend!” you say to yourself, “SO MANY WORDS! Get to the point! Wow.” In response to the Daily Post, I will now rewrite it, and hopefully choose my words a little more carefully.

Growing up, we had two little dogs. Missy and Molly were be-huahuas, beagle chihuahua mixes. They were wonderful (albeit spunky/lazy little dogs), who basically looked and acted like very small beagles or very fat chihuahuas.

I was sure when I grew up that I wanted a Beagle. The eyes, the snuggles, the antics. I mean, who wouldn’t want one?  As it turns out, Beagle mixes are different from full bred beagles. And no one in the world wants one because there are approximately 70 billion Beagle hounds waiting (and probably waiting loudly while howling and barking) to be adopted FOR FREE in area shelters.

Why, you ask? Look at that face!

Toby: The cutest/worst Beagle ever.
Toby: The cutest/worst Beagle ever.

Because friends. Beagles are bad. Pay no attention to this precious little face. They are notoriously and absolutely crazy town. CRAZYTOWN.

The following are some simple rules you may want to memorize if you are considering adopting a Beagle, (or already did):

  1. Never leave food out, your Beagle will eat it. This includes, but is not limited to:
    1. Your coffee. Nothing like seeing a whole Beagle face up your mug. And by mug, I mean your coffee mug, with YOUR morning joe in it.
    2. Fed Ex packages with pound cake from California. Your Beagle knows how to unwrap that business. He’s hiding secret thumbs in his paws. Move over, monkeys!
    3. Messed up blueberry scone dough in your trashcan. Two words: blueberry diarrhea. Three more words: on your rug.
    4. Kid food on the table or in the high chair. Half eaten mac and cheese does not bother him, neither do soggy cheerios. Yum.
    5. Trashcans. Even though your beagle is nay, 12 inches tall, when standing on his hind legs, he can open the trashcan and he will devour it. Go go gadget Beagle legs.
    6. Diapers. Poop is food. Ok. Don’t leave baby poop out/in trashcans that don’t lock.
    7. Etc etc etc.
  2. Secure all of the exits. Don’t be fooled by your little guy. Just because he stayed “happily” in your backyard for the last two weeks without any escape attempts, doesn’t mean he isn’t busily plotting one. If he is quiet, it means he’s working and probably on three different routes at the same time. When you find one hole, always assume there are more.
  3. Everything is fair game, huntin’ game. If you live in a neighborhood, your beagle will hunt it: college kids, squirrels, neighbor dogs, neighbors, birds flying in the air, neighbor goats who mysteriously got in your yard (but that’s another story). When your dog decides it’s hunting season (which will happen daily), he will ferociously attack everything that comes between him and his victim, including blinds and curtains.
  4. Always raise the blinds. I cannot stress this enough. He will annihilate your blinds.
  5. Screw curtain rods into studs. Also. I’m just trying to spare you from intense Beagle fury. He will rip your curtain rods from the wall, should a predator (once again, something like a college student, squirrel, 4 wheeler, or car), happen to traverse the sidewalk or air in front of your house.
  6. Always secure food behind closed doors and cabinets. Again. I just want to be clear. Beagles love their food. So don’t forget. Even counters are not safe. Ask the entire batch of chocolate chip cookies I left out on the stove once. Oh wait, you can’t, because it’s in my Beagle’s stomach.

But here’s the deal. Even though, just today my Beagle ruined my life by waking me up at 3:40 and 4:30 to go outside and then by rolling in mud and pooping on my porch. I still love him. He is the best snuggler and he never runs out of love to give. He teaches me patience and exposes my huge need for some MORE patience. And what he teaches me about people and being a mom is this: what we all need most (Beagles included), is TIME. His world is made when I take my early morning hours with coffee and the rising sun and give him a blanket to cuddle up under next to me. It’s like I can literally see his big Beagle eyes saying “thank you.”

Time and people. People and time. Beagle and people. Beagles and time. It’s what makes our little home go round.

You can read my original post here; it’s much longer and way more sentimental, but 6 years into motherhood, I’m way to sleep deprived to be so sentimental. :):)

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