I’m just a mutt

This week I joined a workout group for mommies somewhat reticently, because I hate the idea of “mommies” gathering together. If if was a group for Mamas, I just really would feel a lot less dorky, but I’ve not found said group. So, I will hang out with “mommies” for now. Anyway, this is beside the point.

The point is this-in every group there seems to be someone from Tennessee, someone from Texas, and someone from Iowa. So? Who cares? Well, I do-because my life is pretty equally divided between these three states and this fact leaves me very often looking like a liar.

This is what happened today….

I’m walking behind these women to a workout location (we walk around this park with our strollers and then stop for strength training-don’t judge), because I don’t really know anyone yet and I think I hear this lady say she’s from Texas. TEXAS??? Even though this is the biggest state ever, I pipe up? “where are you from?”

“Houston,” she says.

“I’m from Fort Worth!” I exclaim, as if the two cities have something more in common than just being in the same state.

“Oh,” she says. I can tell she’s not interested. But then the girl next to me says, “I’m from Dallas!” Now here’s something I can work with. We talk about Dallas and how nice it is and what part she’s from. It turns out our husbands have similar jobs in Arkansas and that’s why we’re both here. But her husband went to school in Louisiana. So it seems our common ground is over. Then I ask her if she went to college in Dallas. “No, I went to Rhodes, in Memphis.”

“Oh, I’m from Memphis!” I exclaim. And that, ladies and gentlemen is how I ended up looking like a liar today….once again.

Several years ago, when I still had Iowa tags, though I lived in Texas, I treated myself to a post finals massage at the School of Massage (it was only $25). Massage therapists aren’t supposed to chit chat with you, because it impedes relaxation, but this gal had apparently taken the class on massage silence yet. So, she massaging me and says “Where are you from?” Pick a state, any state, this girl will never see me again…

“Tennessee.” I say. The subject moves on, here and there. Yada yada.

Then she says, “Are you going home this summer?” She still thinks Tennessee is home for me. I tell her no but ask if she is going home.

“Yeah, I’m from Iowa.” she says.

“Iowa?!? I’m from Iowa!” I exclaim. And, whoops-liar.

Each time this happens I have to go into my schpeel about how I lived in Memphis then Fort Worth then Memphis again, then Fort Worth again, then Iowa, then back to Fort Worth and now Arkansas. Gosh, it makes me so longwinded and ridiculous. But I guess long-winded and ridiculuos is better than looking like a liar.

Oh yeah, as I left my class today, my instructor was saying that she’s from Iowa.

“Iowa!? I’m from Iowa, too!!”

Oh well, what are you gonna do?


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