I’ve gotten a lot of interesting responses to my pregnancy this time around. And by responses, I’m talking about the way that I look. Here’s the deal, I’m not a super cute baby bump kind of gal. I’m not saying that to elicit “yes you are’s.” I’m saying that because it’s true. I’m about 5’3″ with a very short torso and long legs. I’m busty, so since my torso is short, my whole upper half is well….round. Also, it’s my second pregnancy and I’m just bigger than last time. It’s ok, I’ve resigned myself to empire waist sundresses and cute hair, shoes, and make-up (that is when I have the energy for that).
Here’s the interesting part….I’ve had 2 very different reactions this time around. Let’s talk about the WEIRDEST one first.
So, I’m in this new women’s group at my church. The girls are all about my age and I’ve never met any of them before. I joined when I was about 24 or 25 weeks along…noticeably pretty big. I felt like the standard “I”m pregnant, look at me!” announcement wasn’t necessary based on my size, so I skipped it. (I don’t really like to make that announcement anyway, which is why some of you reading this right now are thinking “Wait, she’s pregnant? Did she say something on Facebook?” I didn’t). Anyway, no one said a thing. Those of you who are of the female persuasion know the drill when you see a pregnant girl: first figure out if she’s just overweight, when you’ve deduced that she is not, then start asking questions like “oh when are you due?” “how do you feel?” “boy or girl?” etc. etc. Well, no one said a word. I thought,“Well, I’m wearing a baggy sweater, maybe they just think I’m rocking the 80’s thing” (which I was because I was also wearing tights, they just weren’t neon). So I gave them the benefit of the doubt. The next week however, I busted out a pretty tight belly accentuating top, skinny jeans, and TOMS. Still….NOTHING. I got some compliments on my shoes….while standing…so they had to see the belly. But still nothing. The next week, I wore and dress and nothing. The next time we went out to lunch and consequently shared delivery stories the whole time….still, nothing.
It had been 4 weeks at this point, and I was beginning to feel awkward, like “Well, how do I tell them NOW?” Now, it’s been almost 2 months and still no one has said a word. So, it’s becoming the elephant in the room. I’ve thought through this and if I go into labor before the study is over, I’ll email my leader and tell her and they’ll all collectively say “ahhh, she was pregnant.” If someone asks me before I go into labor, I’ll say, while pointing at my HUGE belly “Seriously? Did I have to spell. it. out?” (I’ll say it more nicely than that, but that’s what I’ll be thinking). And if no one notices and I go into labor after the study and they see me on the street looking normally, I introduce them to my new baby.
Ok. Reaction #2. (and this is the WAY more common one).
“You’re due when? Oh my gosh, are you carrying twins?”
“You’re 38 weeks right? Oh, just 28. I thought you said 38.”
“You’re so big…and cute.”
“Whoaaaaa, Mama!” (ok, that was my 2 year old when she saw my belly and it was actually SUPER cute).
Whatever, I know I’m big but it’s so funny to me that people feel the need to tell me that. I mean, when we see fat people we don’t say “Whoa, you are a FATSO! You are huge.” Conversely to really skinny men, “Um, eat much?” Why is it ok to tell women who already feel GROSS that they are huge????
SO, I’ve compiled an appropriate list of things to say to pregnant women.
1. Wow, you look great.
2. Man, you are carrying that kid great!
3. You are so cute.
These may be lies….LIES. But say them anyway.
Oh and this is one I finally got today, from a friend in my workout group…and it’s my favorite.
4. You don’t even look pregnant from behind! (Brilliant, I love that one, it’s the best!)
So, the next time you see a pregnant girl just tell her she looks awesome…don’t say “glowing” because we all know that’s just code for “sweaty,” which she probably is.