Look for me in my heart

I had a dream last night that involved a science fair, and a swimming pool, a live performance from The Frames, and lot of people crowded into a bar: some I knew, some I didn’t.

Everyone was taking turns and sharing their projects, or art, or music and this one beautiful woman, who’d only moments before been in the pool catching her young niece after ventures down a slide, stood up, microphone in hand. The dream was chaotic and strangely emotional and sometimes funny but this part was clear….

This is what she said through tears, “I went back to my grandmother’s home last summer. I wasn’t going to revel in memories, but to look for a painting I wanted. I was planning on getting in and out,” but then she said something stopped her in her spirit saying, “Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

There were tears all around, then some more music, the people from my past mingling with children and dream people and science projects.

My alarm entered the boundaries of my sleep and I woke up. But here I am thinking….

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Are my children’s souls more important than returning a text message?

IMG_2665

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

When people hurt me, do I push them away, or seek to meet them where they are…without judgment?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

A transient passed me in a park the other day, an hour later, I inwardly blamed him for my friend’s broken car window and stolen computer. Why?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

All of the hollow “how are you’s?” and the “I’m good’s,” are they meaningful? Why do we stop there?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Is my 3 year old a little person or a robot who’s behavior I desperately need to wrangle…so I benefit?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Do I really seek to know my husband as my best friend or is he merely my list do-er, my baby sitter, my shift reliever? If he treated me like I treat him, would I love him?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Do I wait for church to meet GOD or do I seek him in the wind blowing outside, and the charms singing, and the rain on windshields, and the spilt milk on my floor, and the early morning stillness, and the children pulling and tugging, and the heartache and the joys?

IMG_1455

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Do I ask questions? Do I learn people’s stories….even my children’s, even my husband’s, stories of the people I thought I knew?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Do I LISTEN or do I wait to speak?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Am I recklessly pursuing the hearts of others, the heart of God?

“Don’t look for me on the walls, look for me in my heart.”

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Look for me in my heart

  1. Karen Wade says:

    Hey, yes you are right, I have had the same conviction as to how many “friends” and also family do I really know and have listened to or taken extra time to know because of the excuse of time constraints, being afraid to be vulnerable, or just not caring. I have a bird flying into my window repeatedly for some reason for the second day now, and I need to quit banging my head against seemingly reflections of freedom of flights that are just a falsehood. But I am reminded that my Father has so much grace and kindness that He knows and sees even this little redbird as he is fruitlessly flying into my window day after day. AND is there something I can do to dissuade him or disrupt this activity if I stop to take the time? I’ll stop to find out, as I need to with my friends and family with God’s wisdom I need to listen, watch, and be engaged. Thanks for the time to think on these dreams, object lessons, and these timely God moments. His ways and timing are completely different from ours, but we need to learn them.
    Keep the faith, Love ya, Karen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s